Bereavement Counselling
Quality counselling is available at our comfortable, confidential premises in a pleasant suburb of Newcastle upon Tyne but we welcome clients from all areas of the North East as well as those from Newcastle
What is grief?
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. Whether the loss involves the death of a loved one, the end of a special relationship, or becoming disabled - and whether the person is a senior citizen, a child or a college student - anyone can experience loss or grief.
At many points after a loss, the grieving person can benefit from the support of others
and bereavement counselling. Individual grief reactions can vary widely, not only from person to person, but also within the same person over time. Accordingly, friends need to be ready to accept and support the griev
er through a wide range of emotions.
As helpful and supportive as friends can be during this time, sometimes they are too close to people to be objective and a bereaved person may need to say things which can be judged harshly by those closest to them and this is where bereavement counselling is a valuable service as clients are able to express views without being judged or condemned for them.
Society promotes many misconceptions about grief that may actually hinder the recovery and growth that follow loss.
Friends need to avoid these and other ways of predetermining what another's grief process should be like. Bereavement counselling can provide a good alternative to friends and close family.
Reactions to Loss
People who are grieving will experience many reactions to their loss as they work toward resolution. At various times, but especially at first, the grieving person may experience intense and sometimes conflicting feelings or may deny that the loss has occurred. Strong feelings such as sadness, helplessness, loneliness, guilt, or anger can emerge. Experiencing and accepting these feelings as natural represents an important part of the recovery process. Ultimately, the grieving person reaches a point in the recovery process where the loss becomes integrated into his or her set of life experiences. He or she is then better able to carry out the tasks of daily living. Bereavement counselling can help the individual reach this stage.
It is normal to search for something we have lost and searching is a common reaction to bereavement - we may believe we saw our loved one or heard them and while this can be comforting for many, it can also be frightening but as a reaction to bereavement, these can be perfectly normal. Seeing a Bereavement Counsellor may help alleviate some of your concerns and at ASCA Counselling & Therapy Services, we have Qualified & Experienced Bereavement Counsellors available including evenings and weekends - this allows you more choice in appointments
Throughout this recovery period, people who are grieving will experience many reactions. Some of the following reactions are discussed as part of the bereavement counselling service we provide : |
| 1. Denial, shock, numbness - Reactions which distance the grieving person from the loss, thereby protecting him/her from being overwhelmed by emotions. |
| 2. Emotional releases - These reactions accompany realisations for different aspects of the loss, they frequently involve much crying and they are often important to the healing process. Bereavement is never the same for any two people and our reactions to a bereavement can lead to many emotions we have not previously experienced - let it out safely, it's perfectly natural |
| 3. Reactive depression - Natural feelings beyond sadness (e.g. feelings of loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, self-pity) which occur as the person more clearly recognises the extent of their loss. For many, reactive depression is part of the necessary internal processing of the loss which the grieving person must go through before reorganising his/her life. |
| 4. Panic - Feeling overwhelmed, confused, fearful, unable to cope, and even believing something is wrong with oneself. |
| 5. Remorse - Following a loss (whether through death, relationship break-up or disability) a grieving person sometimes becomes preoccupied with thoughts of what he/she might have done differently to have prevented the loss or to have made things better. This can be helpful as the person tries to make sense out of his or her situation, but can also lead to unrealistic feelings of remorse or guilt. |
| 6. Anger - This is a frequent response to a perception of injustice and powerlessness. A significant loss can threaten the grieving person's basic beliefs about himself or herself or about life in general. As a result (often to the grieving person's bewilderment), he or she can feel anger not only at a person perceived as responsible for the loss, or at God or life in general for the injustice of the loss but also - in cases of loss through death - at the deceased for dying. |
| 7. Need to talk - In order to recognise and come to terms with the impact of the loss, the grieving person may express feelings, tell stories and share memories sometimes over and over with many different people. Bereavement Counsellors are here to listen and not judge you - we'll let you talk through any aspects of the bereavement and support you in discovering your feelings |
| 8. Physical ailments - In response to the emotional stress of a bereavement, many people are more vulnerable to a variety of physical ailments over the 6 to 18 months following loss (e.g. colds, nausea, hypertension etc.) |
When will it end/when will I get better?
Just as there is no single pattern to grief, there is no single way to help a grieving person
Both the grieving person and any friend who is trying to help may feel unsure and uncomfortable.
Either way, remember that, it is important to be yourself and allow yourself to feel any and all emotions, either a single session or a course of sessions may be beneficial to discover coping strategies for individuals and all it takes is a phone call or e-mail to us and we can offer you the chance to explore issues in your own time.
